


You Can't Keep Burning The Candle At Both Ends

by IRegretNothingAndEverything



Series: Teenage Joshua [2]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Game Design, Joshua's time when Gordon was stuck in black mesa, OCs mentioned but they're not getting tagged, Panic Attacks, Worry, YES I USED CANOPUS HERE OKAY I LOVE THEM, he misses his dad, joshua is having a time, of which i know nothing about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26625001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRegretNothingAndEverything/pseuds/IRegretNothingAndEverything
Summary: Joshua is completely used to his dad's weird hours. It's when Gordon doesn't come home, and his work is reported to have had a major accident, that Joshua really begins to worry.
Series: Teenage Joshua [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936888
Comments: 3
Kudos: 134





	You Can't Keep Burning The Candle At Both Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so, apparently not done with this au oops. Still credits to purplecatghostposts on tumblr!!

Joshua is used to his dad coming in at late hours. It was something they were both used to at this point, neither having good sleep schedules, at least not to a morning person, but it worked for them. Joshua worked well at night, when working on games like he did. Currently, the one he was half working on, was just visuals. He didn’t have too much of a story in mind, but he really liked working on visuals a lot, so he tended to just open a program and start fiddling with an NPC design, or a room. 

When his dad didn’t come home at the normal time, Joshua was a bit concerned, but didn’t think too hard on it. He kept weird hours, and sometimes stayed late. Joshua figured it would be fine, and, while it took him another couple minutes to fall asleep, he didn’t worry too hard about it. 

It was when Joshua woke up and his dad still wasn’t home when Joshua really started to worry. Usually he’s back by now, but he did know Black Mesa had beds for really late workers. Usually... his dad texted him, but maybe he forgot. It’s fine, It really was. 

It wasn’t. Not really. Because when he opened his phone, he found a multitude of texts from his friends, all with the same sort of idea. The first, with a link, asking ‘isn’t that where you dad works?’ from his friend Leo worries him a bit, but when he clicks the link it’s gone. Nothing is there for Joshua to judge. 

The next, from his friend Canopus, has screenshots, of what Joshua assumes to be the same, or at least similar link. 

Black Mesa had a work incident... and now his father was trapped inside with hundreds of other people and no way out. Joshua feels his heart stop, and, sinking to the floor, calls Canopus. 

They answer in moments, and, as Joshua shakes through the breathing exercises they guide him in, they drive over to his house, let themselves in with the spare key under the mat, and Joshua devolves further. 

It takes nearly an hour for the panic attack to subside, but when it does, Canopus gets him some food, and then, is on their way, as Joshua asks to be alone, with the promise that he will call if he needs any help. 

He turns on loud music, as loud as his headphones will go, and starts working on the game again. 

Which is what he does for the next couple days. 

Joshua sits in his room for a few days, only getting up when he needs to use the restroom or eat, and collapses when he gets too tired to keep his eyes open. He wakes up to friends having gotten into the shared program, messed with a few things his tired brain and come up with, kept the progress going as he forced himself not to think about his father stuck inside Black Mesa

When the military rolls in is when Joshua properly starts putting work into the protagonist's design, their motivation, the story. 

No one mentions that the protagonist looks a lot like Joshua, or that the story involves fighting off the military to find a lost father. It seems like something he didn’t want to talk about, as he worked through the nights until he couldn’t keep his head up, so he wouldn’t, couldn’t, dream. That way led nightmares, and Joshua was not ready to deal with what his subconscious would come up with. 

There are moments, of course, when a friend pops by, from Leo, to Canopus, to Aria, but none of them are fully able to snap Joshua out of his stupor. They get him food, and sometimes he breaks down when they’re over, hands shaking as he sobs and hyperventilates, but, in the end, he ends up back where he started, facing the computer and fiddling with designs and stories and walking cycles. 

It’s a week alone, eating what he gets, or halfheartedly cooks, and hoping that his friends aren’t too mad at him for not really moving. He knows Aria came over and did the dishes sometime yesterday, but she left after making sure he was drinking water, and he hopes that he remembers to thank her before he passes out again. 

It’s breakfast food time, is what Joshua decided, standing in the kitchen to make pancakes. He leaves the pan on the stove, takes it back to his room to work through the tutorial section of the game. Two AM pancakes is fine, he convinces himself. He’s okay, it’s all fine. 

When the door opened, Joshua almost doesn’t hear it. What he does hear is his dad’s voice, and he’s up like a bullet, food forgotten, flinging himself into his father’s embrace without a second thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, even if it is a bit out of order with the previous one! 
> 
> tumblr is e-bubby!


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